When I woke up, I decided to blog about the 9 Rule Zeroes in an attempt to determine which should be the one, true Rule Zero! I’ll take them from worst to best:

#9 Never do anything that might help the GM

I learned this one playing Living Greyhawk (the 3.5 version of Living Forgotten Realms) from another player who I thankfully only played with one time (no, most “living” players aren’t at all like this; I don’t care what you heard!). I can’t imagine a worse Rule Zero – it basically says, “Don’t play your character, don’t engage in the story, just stay in a tight formation until we get the XP and treasure.” While it was probably created in response to killer GMs, it just serves to reinforce that behavior as the only way for the GM to interact with the group is to throw more monsters at them!

While this is the most dysfunctional Rule Zero, it is fortunately rather rare, in my experience.

#8 The GM is always right

Sure…but only if you’re playing D&D…and you’re in Middle School. Really, adults don’t need this rule and they know better than to think that their friend running the game is right when they are clearly wrong. Better to say that the GM has the final call, but that’s not always the case these days. Group consensus or veto-with-seconds rules have proven just as effective at maintaining a fair and consistent fictional world. Overall, this one is a relic of the past.

#7 Never split the party

- Suggested by Eric from the Podge Cast

This is almost as bad as #9 in creating static, boring play. It may be tactically prudent, but if doesn’t fit the tone of the fiction (Star Wars characters always split up) or make sense for the character or their situation then how does it help the game? This is also a cause and effect of an infinite loop of Player-GM distrust – but this one is a lot more common than #9. And it’s intended to create peer pressure not to break ranks and play how you might want to play, which is pretty dysfunctional.

But then again…a lot of times…it’s right! A lot of table-top RPGs are balanced around a full party of characters taking on a threat. Facing the same threat with a split group might lead to quick character deaths – even TPKs. Still, a good Rule Zero should be near-universally true and not primarily a D&D in-joke.

#6 Roll on the fucking table

- Suggested by David from the Backseat Producers

It really hacks me off when my fellow players can’t keep the dice on the table, want to count the dice that landed on a high number on the floor (but not when they’re low), roll them in a shoe box – or a shoe, and a hundred other annoying things that human beings have found to do with their dice. Let’s all roll the dice on the table, where everyone can see them, and no funny business. Is that too much to ask?

But at the end of the day, this is trivial and more of a pet-peeve than universal directive. Just be aware of your groups’ expectations and try to play nice.

#5 Never touch another man’s dice (aka “The Herzog Rule”)

- Suggested by Tim White from Return to Northmoor

This one’s cool. It sounds like an Old West proverb and that makes it bad ass! Some people spend a lot of time and money on their dice, dice bags, dice towers, dice poppers – I could go on. Of course we should respect other people’s property and sometimes geeks need to be more aware of personal boundaries and the rules of polite society.

But can we just grab the women’s dice all willy-nilly? Definitely a double-standard, but that’s the Old West for ya. What really kills this rule is that most players don’t take their dice so seriously and share them out no problem. It’s far from universal… but that feller in the wide-brimmed hat over in the corner will take your hand clean off if you touch his speckled D20!

#4 Don’t be *THAT* guy

- Suggested by Talulla

*THAT* guy is the one that becomes an example of what not to do at the table. It could be the guy who is never prepared, or takes far too long to play his turn, or wears shorts that expose…things. This one is very context based and is probably a better Rule Zero for life than for RPGs. We need to realize when we’re annoying other humans or just completely missing the boat and try to fix it where we can.

But it’s also rather judgmental. We were all *THAT* guy or *THAT* girl to someone at some point in time and most of us will be again. The heart of this one is to know your group and try to find a play style that you can enjoy that works with that group – or maybe find a different group. None of us want to be *THAT* person but it’s not always worth conforming just to fit in.

#3 If the rules don’t work for your group, change them

Thanks to D&D 3E, this is the most common of the Rule Zeroes. So why doesn’t the game designer make better rules or explain their rules better? That’s usually the real problem that makes this rule necessary. I don’t think you would see this as a Rule Zero for board games or minis where the rules are expected to work and no one has time for broken or incoherent games. But for some reason roleplayers often give big problems with the rules a pass or they don’t bother to try to learn the rule and just play it “our way”. Maybe I’ve always been a rules lawyer at heart, be it traditional RPGs or Story Games, but this attitude always grates on me. Furthermore, it makes all our game tables little islands of incoherent house rules that are bound to frustrate new players if they travel from group to group.

So while I’m clearly not a big fan of this rule, I still rated it third place. That’s because the heart of this rule is that having fun together with the game should be more important than following the rules and certainly more important than arguing about the rules. And that certainly rings true.

#2 It’s a game, have fun

Yes, sometimes we need to be reminded. It’s easy to get wrapped up in personal politics, rules disagreements, disappointment over bad outcomes in the game, or even problems from home and work that we forgot to leave in their places. Don’t do that. Have fun with your friends and if the game isn’t fun do something else together.

Here comes the other hand again! Some games are cathartic or intense or disturbing. What do you mean by fun? I think those things are fun to experience, but this rule can be warped to mean, “I don’t want to go there and neither should you.” Fun doesn’t have to be goofy and light, but some people will always interpret it that way. And sometimes your funs won’t match, so this rule won’t always hold true.

#1 Don’t be a dick

- Attributed to Jesus Christ via Clyde from Theory from the Closet

This isn’t always the easiest Rule Zero to follow in every group, especially if you play with random people at a con and encounter someone that really presses your buttons. Try to remember that the game will end…eventually. But if you play with friends – or at least people you want to be friends with – you should definitely try your best to follow this one.

So is it universal? The only, very minor exception I can think of is if your character is supposed to be a dick, but then that should be understood and playing him or her as a dick doesn’t count as being a dick to your real-world fellow gamers. In fact they are meant to enjoy your character’s dick-ish behavior and will likely be disappointed if you don’t ‘bring it’ – especially as the GM.

But is this a Rule Zero for gaming or for life? It can be real easy to forget this rule when you’re in the thick of the game, immersed in the fiction, and fighting for what you want. You should be playing RPGs with passion and that passion is what can blind us and why we need this as our Rule Zero Supreme.

And in real life? Well that guy that just cut me off deserves the middle finger! Does he have any idea how hard it is to Twitter and drive!?!

The second is “The Brilliant Gameologists”. Careful, they ain’t safe for work (and neither am I on that episode). We discuss the RPG Podcast Listeners Survey Results, which I had a hand in.

Enjoy!

I’d really appreciate any feedback on these ideas and what you’d like to see (hear) on the show. Please either leave a comment below or comment on the forum thread. Thanks!

But here it is anyway. I recorded a podcast with three hosts from other Spooky Outhouse shows in something we’re calling the “Spooky Outhouse Showcase”. I’m putting it in the feed here as it’s generally entertaining and we do talk about Story Games quite a bit on it. I apologize if you download it twice as a result. Here’s a link to the episode’s blog post with links to the other shows and here’s on for the discussion thread on the forums.

I also did an analysis of the excellent Podcast Census I linked to below. You can find the results of that analysis here. Try to stay awake.

I plan to have a real Story Shtick episode out early next week, so stay tuned!

EDIT: The survey is closed. You can see the results here.

Midnight Raid by Scott Dunphy

Along with the game chef theme of “Immersion” and ingredients of “Burn”, “Horse”, and “Midnight”, I was inspired by the Battlestar Galactica board game, Primetime Adventures, “Are You a Werewolf?”, and bad cop shows.

Part 1

Part 2

Forum Thread

I haven’t had a chance to go through my files, but I recorded a bunch of Role-Playing Poems in action and a few full games. The one I’m most jazzed about is a “With Great Power” (WGP) game that went really well. I didn’t feel any of my Genghis 08 WGP sessions were great examples by themselves as I was still learning how to teach the system within the time constraints of a convention slot last year. I took a completely different approach this time and I had the advantage of three Story Games veterans, one with WGP experience, at my table to speed things along and help with the conceptual stuff.

I meant to do some interviews of gamers and I brought my good mics to the hotel along with carrying my portable recorder with me everywhere, but I just never got the opportunity to do this. The role-playing side of Genghis is very focused on playing games and between slots most folks are running to get food or get something from the dealer’s room (myself included) and they don’t have a lot of time to chat.

But I did put that extra equipment to use. It turns out there was a panel discussion with three D&D designers/authors featuring Andy Collins. I didn’t know about it until I was at the con and I already had a game planned in that slot, but I set up my equipment, started the recording, ran to my table, came back to tear down the equipment 2 hours later when they finished, and ran back to my table. So I haven’t even listened to it! But assuming what I recorded was usable, I’ll put it up somewhere. Probably not on the Story Shtick feed as it doesn’t really fit there, but I’ll work with Spooky Outhouse to figure out where it should go and post a link here.